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Thread: Printers Jokes Wanted

  1. #1

    Printers Jokes Wanted

    Over the weekend I looked up jokes about printers and the printing industry and found so little. Personally, I did not know many jokes before, but the results after so many searches on Google left me pretty disappointed. I mean, really, printers have been around since, eh, the tenth or fifteenth century depending on how you define printers (the human kind). And in all this time, people didn't make fun of us as much as they did of Bush or Obama in less than ten minutes? Granted, we are not as ***y or outrageous as the politicians, but come on, there must be funny happenings somewhere sometimes in a printing place.

    So here is my challenge to all fellow printers (offset, digital, screen, or otherwise) to collect, invent, expand or modify jokes about us, our tools and our trade - after reading the below list of jokes I have collected thus far. Some does not directly involve a printer, only in relative connection.

    The List - what I have found.

    Why did you decide to work in prepress? “I got into prepress because I heard of the strippers.”

    Why do people start working in prepress? “I got into prepress because I had heard that they could always use dingbats and dummies and creeps in the gutter…”

    What type of hunting do printers prefer? Trapping.

    Has anyone else ever had a client choose a paper stock and helpfully fax you a sample?

    You can read the rest here.

  2. #2
    The old "kick" joke?

    A business's copier is running very poorly. The machine jams, prints unevenly, and half the time won't even pass paper. They call every dealer in the phonebook to no avail. Finally, the oldest repairman at a very old dealership is called in after all the young bucks have failed. He loads new paper and turns the machine on, listening to the copier for a couple minutes.

    He then walks behind it, hauls off and gives it a big swift kick in a strategic spot. Lo and behold, the copier starts humming like a kitten. The repairman turns around and writes the owner a bill for $500. The owner is flabbergasted and demands an itemized breakdown AND EXPLANATION.

    The repairman takes the bill back and writes a line at the bottom: '$1 for my time, and $499 for knowing where to kick.'
    My son just started in the industry, and here's his take on it:

    Printing! The profession that requires you to be multilingual, psychic, an artist a mechanic, a IT pro, a sociologist, a psychologist, a nanny and a multitasker.
    Last edited by dalecosp; 08-05-2013 at 10:56 AM.

  3. #3
    Yep! That's a very old joke. I know several versions involving doctors, lawyers, plumbers, etc. Still true and funny though, it reminds us of the up front investment that professionals made before they were professionals.

  4. #4
    I find that sensible and interesting at the same time. This post is so awesome. Love it!

  5. #5
    printers do it in the dark
    printers do it without wrinkling the sheets

  6. #6
    Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
    Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
    Caller : Mouse is jammed.
    Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse!!!
    Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?... I will send a picture



    [ATTACH=CONFIG]61[/ATTACH
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Printers Jokes Wanted-mouse-jammed-jpg  

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by khochsprung View Post
    Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
    Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
    Caller : Mouse is jammed.
    Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse!!!
    Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?... I will send a picture
    LOL! Didja take that photo yourself??
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Printers Jokes Wanted-copier_peanut_butter-jpg  

  8. #8
    The Printer is comprised of three parts: the case, the jammed paper tray, and the blinking red light.

  9. #9
    "Any smoothly functioning technology is indistinguishable from a 'rigged' demo."
    Asay Media Network / Locator Magazine / OMBE.com

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